


Almost Lost

by Elizabeth_Holmes



Series: Queenie Goldstein and Jacob Kowalski Take on the World [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Companion Piece, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Jacob POV, Jacob to the rescue, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8962705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elizabeth_Holmes/pseuds/Elizabeth_Holmes
Summary: Companion piece to Miserable At Best. Jacob's POV.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy ~

In that moment, it hits him. Hits him like a pile of bricks. All at once, first. The memories come all at once. But then it slows down and he can actually see whats happening and he’s crying all over again, to things he never thought he’d know. Things he never knew he didn’t remember.

The hatching of an occamy.

The stern stare of the older sister.

Newt telling him he thought of him as a friend and that he wouldn’t ever forget him.

The hot chocolate.

The erumpent.

Queenie Goldstein’s tear-stained face as she said goodbye. The soft touch of her lips as she kissed him deeply, then left him standing in the forgetting-rain.

He connected these memories with the most recent ones of the woman he hadn’t known he knew. His heart broke all over again. She had been watching him and it must have hurt her so much.

His date was yelling at him now, he realized.

“I’m sorry doll, I just remembered somethin’ real important. I’m gonna have ta let ya go. No hard feelings?” he hugged her and kissed her cheek, before dashing out of the establishment.

He had to catch her. He had no idea where she was going, but he had a very forboding feeling for some reason. And Jacob Kowalski was not going to lose Queenie a second time. No way, no how.

“Did any of you see a girl pass by here? Strawberry blond, pink dress? Crying?” he asked a group of teenagers. They nodded.

“She headed up that way.” One of them said, pointing into a rather tall building. Jacob thanked them and entered the building. What kind of business would Queenie have in a building like this so late at night? Was it a secret wizarding establishment?

He asked other people in the building if they had seen her and they all kept pointing upwards or towards staircases. So Jacob kept climbing. At the 6th floor, when he was ready to fall over, one woman looked at him sadly.

“You better hurry buddy. Your girl looked like she was intent on leavin’.”  
  
Jacob looked confused. If she wanted to leave wouldn’t he have passed her on the stairs?  


The woman shook her head at him. “This world, buddy. Like she wanted to leave this world.” Jacob didn’t realize what she meant for a moment, but when he did, his heart dropped into his stomach.

“Ya might try the elevator.” The woman suggested. She pointed at an elevator. Jacob got in and slammed the button for the top floor. The doors took to long to close, and the elevator itself took too long to climb. It was maddening.

Finally, he made it to the top floor. He ran out into the hall and found the door to the roof. He climbed one last flight of steps and pushed a door open. He is out of breath, and crying. He sees Queenie, standing at the edge of the building. She looks a lot like a ballerina, he thinks. Or an acrobat. Balancing on the edge of life and death.

He sprints across the roof. He catches her wrist and pulls her back, just as she takes a step off the edge. He has her. But he is terrified and continues to pull her back. He can’t lose this woman. He loves her too much. And she loves him too.

“What are you doing!?” Jacob practically screams at her. He does not mean to, but he is frightened.

“Mr. Kowalski, I-” Queenie is obviously frightened too. 

“Don’t call me that! It’s Jacob. It’s been Jacob for ages but you just- Queenie, how could you- how could you think this was the answer?”

He is yelling at her. He is crying. She is crying.

“How- how do you know my name?” she asks. She looks like she can’t breath and Jacob is worried still.

Jacob is shaking his head. “I’ve...I’ve known since the other day. It all came flooding back. I wanted to see you. I went looking but, the land lady said you and your sister had moved, and you left the bakery so fast. And you...you didn’t come back. And tonight! Tonight I was there and you were there and you-” Jacob is choking back tears. He grabs at Queenie’s face, staring into her eyes.

He cannot believe he almost lost her. How can you lose something so precious twice? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how he would bare the loss either, but thank gods he doesn’t have to. She is here. She is safe. He has her and he won’t let go.

“I didn’t mean to, Jacob. I didn’t mean to give them back. You weren’t supposed to know. I’m so sorry.” Queenie is shaking.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to know? How bad you’re hurting. You- don’t you know me, Queenie? I’d never- I’d never have walked into that rain if I’d known it was gonna hurt you so bad. Don’t you know me better than that? You should’ve-” they’re both crying now, shaking together as he folds her into his arms.

“I’m sorry.” Jacob sobs.

“It’s not your fault, Jacob, I’m just selfish-” Jacob isn’t having this. Not from her. No. No. She is not selfish. He knows this. She doesn’t seem to understand, so he explains-  

“Stop sayin’ that. Stop sayin’ that. You’re not selfish Queenie. You could never be selfish. You got the biggest heart in the whole world and I- I threw it away, last year! And I knew but I- I thought you’d find somethin’ better, see? Thought you’d be fine and dandy and just peachy keen without me. I didn’t know. I didn’t know how much you loved me til-”

“Til when, Jacob?”

“When you kissed me, tonight. Don’t you know? I could hear you, in my head. I could hear it all. Everything. And I. Queenie, if I’d known. If I’d known…”

“I’m sorry Jacob.” She won’t stop apologizing.

“Stop apologizing.” He demands. He doesn’t mean to sound so angry.

“Please don’t. Please don’t ever let me go again.”

“Never again doll. Nev-ah a-gain. Fugget aboutit.” He tells her and he means it.  He means it with all his heart. He hates that he was such a coward as to let her go in the first place. How he had done it, he still isn’t sure.

They sit on that rooftop in eachother’s arms until the sun comes up. They laugh. They cry. They talk. They cry more. More talking; about everything and anything. Plans for the future, memories of the past. Declarations of love and forgiveness and joy and pain. They are not sure how they will manage to keep together in a world that seems so dead set against them, but they know they’ll manage. They don’t have a choice, see.

And in the wee hours of the morning, when Queenie is asleep in Jacob’s lap, he breathes in his scent and thinks about how this was all almost lost. And how he would never have forgiven himself. But it is best not to think these thoughts. They are here. They are together. They are safe. Just the two of them against the world.

 


End file.
